To My Angel, Teddy:

Dear Teddy:

Much as your spirit lives on, so does my love for you.  I will try my best to think of the many good times we had — and not to focus on the pain.  I miss you so much, but I know I need to release you.  There are many who have waited eagerly to see you again, and I don’t want to keep you from enjoying that wonderful reunion.  I will get my chance, and I am counting the days until we meet again.

There are so many reasons I love you.  You are loyal, loving, playful, sensitive and giving.  You always held me close when I was sad.  You chose me to spend your life with.  You and I are both a bit reclusive, so we have a unspoken understanding.  You kept me warm.  You gave me hope.  You make me smile. 

You were a very loving brother to Jack.  He feels your physical absence with the same pain that I do.  I wish I knew the words to ease his pain, but I’m still trying to figure that out myself.  You have a lot of friends on earth that look forward to seeing your beautiful green eyes and hearing your sweet voice again.

Please do not be sad or miss me too much.  Teddy, I want you to play and love and laugh and have a wonderful time.  I know where you are, and I know you’re safe, warm, happy, without pain, and among friends.  You are in good hands.  That is all I ever wanted for you. 

You were, indeed, a gift from God & he was kind enough to entwine our souls on earth.  I know he wanted you back a few months ago, but we weren’t ready to be parted yet.  I know you hung in there longer than your body wanted you to.  I am so sorry for the pain you were feeling.  You are once again God’s angel.  Feel free to look in on Jack and I any time you want.  A part of you will always be with us in our hearts.

Until we meet again, my sweet angel, Teddy.  I will love you always.

P.S. — E. sends his love as well: http://www.teddythecat.com/

You can visit Teddy and his new friends at Rainbow Bridge:

http://www.rainbowbridge.org/residents.aspx?resid=RB0A5288

Thanksgiving

To all these things I give thanks:

1.  To my friends, Steve and Eddie, who share equally the sorrow and the joy of my life.  I cherish you, as you are my chosen family.

2.  To my family, who understands me and holds me and loves me as I am.

3.  To Jack, who chose me as his human.  I have cherished your love and affection since 1996, when you first arrived at my door.  You had the key to my heart & I’ll never turn you away.

4.  To Teddy, who also chose me as his human.  For 11 years, you were my baby.  We shared a bond that many do not understand, but I will love you always.  You are my light, my love, my joy, and until we meet again, you will fill a space in my heart.

5.  To BD, who took me in when no one else gave me respect for my skills and background.  You left office politics at the door and accepted me as one of your own.

6.  To God, for always giving me what I need and making sure I land on my feet.  I am not angry at you for taking Teddy home.  I am grateful for the time you allowed me to share with him.  You made it possible for me to attend to his every need — to the very last minute of his time on earth.  Thanks also for allowing my parents to stay a little longer than planned.  I enjoy every minute with them.  Thanks as well for sending the wonderful human angels my way.  They make wonderful friends and are worth their weight in gold.  I wouldn’t trade them for all the money in the world.  I am sorry for doubting you for so many years.  You know what you’re doing and I respect that.

To everyone out there, may you find much peace, love and happiness in every form it is available.

Dear God:

Dear God:

Please take good care of my baby.  For 11 years he filled my life with love and joy.   Today, I gave him the peace he needed.  He was my special little angel — and now he belongs to you.  Please hold him and love him as I have.  Keep him safe and warm.  Tuck him in at night.  Send him love from me and his brother, Jack.  We miss him already…  We will love him always.

When I was just a kid, my dad always told me not to cry over the little things.  He said I’d need those tears for later in life, and if I cried them all too early, I’d run out.  I never knew what he meant until now.  I think the dam just broke… and it won’t stop flowing.

Oh, God.  I wasn’t ready to let him go.  I want him back!!!!  Please.  I’ll do anything…  anything.  Nothing could ever fill this void.  All the same.  Thanks, God, for letting me hold him one last time before we said goodbye.  He knew it was time.  He woke me up this morning crying.  I don’t think he was quite ready to go either… but we don’t always have that choice, do we?

Please, take good care of my baby.

Love,

Me